I love this kid.
He may have some frustrated tendancies to torture his younger brother into screaming rages, have excessive energy after school and not always use it wisely and ask 1,381 questions a day...especially at the end of the night when my brain is ready to turn off...BUT...
His sweet, gentle heart just shines through sometimes, especially when I take the time to sit and listen and just let him be himself. We have started this thing called "Talk Thursdays" (thanks, Mr J. for the name suggestion!) with possibly another day added, where I climb up in bed with Samuel and let him just talk about whatever comes to his mind. My initial reaction when he has requested this, I am ashamed to admit, has not always been gracious or welcoming. I am tired at the end of the day and especially Thursdays, which is one of my solo days.
But I find that I cannot resist the pleading of those sweet blue-gray eyes and I have started hoisted myself up the ladder and into the top bunk to listen. And what a reward I get! I have found that I learn things about him that I never knew: things he is doing at school, things he is looking forward to or even afraid of and oh, the questions! He asks some of the most thought-provoking and deep questions. Like about heaven and dying, the future, your soul, how things in the world work, etc. Wow.
Tonight, even though it was so late because of swimming lessons, he had a few more questions up his sleeve. He gave me his usual routine of 2 kisses per cheek, one on the nose and a big hug and then he sat back and asked, "Mommy, are we always going to hug and kiss?" I said, "Well, yes, probably. We'll always hug and we can kiss as long as you want to." He said, "Well, can't we do it when we're grown ups? You and Daddy kiss." I chuckled and said, "Daddy and I are married! That's why we kiss."
He looked at me so sincerely and said, "Well, when I grow up, I'm going to be married to you, too!" He has said that in the past and it always breaks my heart a little to have to tell him he can't because he is so earnest and so sweet.
I said as gently as I could, "Well, Buddy, you can't marry me because I'm already married to Daddy. And you can only be married to one person at a time." He got so serious and said, "Will you get underrested if you marry 2 people?" I told him yes, probably because it's against the law and plus, God wants only one man and one woman to get married to each other, not two!
He got sad and his sweet eyes filled with tears. "But why? I wanted to marry you. Daddy can go marry someone else and I can marry you!" I stroked his freshly washed head and said, "But I like being married to Daddy and we're going to stay married because we love each other. And someday you will meet a nice girl (I pray!) and love her and want to marry her. And then you'll have your own children that you can hug and kiss all you want."
"But how do you know I'll do that?" He asked me. And I said, "Because I know that you'll love them as much as Daddy and I love you and you'll want to hug them and kiss them and tell them you love them all the time."
What a precious heart. May I treasure it and care for it always!