A little Algebra, Leaves and an Answer to Prayer!

 So, you know, there's nothing like a little Algebra in your spare time...

That is, if you pretty much have a genius for a father;) Not my cup o' tea, I assure you! Math and I are not friends. We actually don't really like each other so I'm extremely thankful for a husband who not only likes math (really??) but is really good at it!

We took a little drive after church on Sunday to the library so Ben could pick up something. He took Eliana in with him so I sat in the car and let the boys play in the leaves for a little bit. A much better alternative to having them sit idly in the car and cause trouble!

It was really chilly out so they were pretty cold by the time they were done!

Such a beautiful fall day:)

I remember building big leaf piles when I was younger and jumping in them. A childhood experience every kid should have!

We did something big this weekend!! We cleaned out our garage (which really means that we shoved everything down into the basement~ha!) and squeezed our dear old Odyssey into it! It is a close fit but it works. This is a momentous occasion for Penny (she was newly Christened this week) because it was her very first time in a garage. Chicago was hard on her so she is looking forward to some new-found rest.

Side-note: The name Penny is short for Penelope, who is the mother of Odysseus. Get it? Aren't we so clever?!

So anyways, one of the reasons that we had to clear out the garage is....

Someone new joined our family and his name is Kermit! No, not the guy in the picture (that's Ben:), the car! We FINALLY have a 2nd car! We have been searching actively for about 2 months now and have wasted many a Saturday getting cars checked out and getting disappointed over and over. We met a nice guy at our church who has good contacts in the car business and he helped us find it. It is a 15 year old Honda Accord but only has 115,000 miles and while it doesn't look pretty on the outside (it IS old after all!), the mechanics are good and we are happy. We were able to get away with one car for 9 years in Chicago but unfortunately, public transportation isn't quite the same here so we had to give in.

It will take some time to get used to actually getting to go places or run errands on days other than Thursday only. I haven't driven much in the past 4 months. At first, it was really frustrating for me not to have the freedom to go places on my own time schedule and to rely on others so much. After awhile though, I finally came to appreciate not only the extra time with family members who were so sweet to pick us up each week but also, quiet days at home getting things done and just enjoying time with Eliana. I think I will still continue to make some days like that each week but I do know that we will definitely not take having a car for granted!

Thank you, Lord, for answered prayers!

De-weeding and letting go.

We were all out in the yard the other day, helping to water the plants and pulling weeds. I had a few minutes to myself on the side of the house, the hot sun beating down on my hatted head. I was reflecting on weeds as I pulled them, knowing they have been used in spiritual applications many times.

Some weeds are actually pretty. They look like happy little plants. Some have flowers or bright colors, like dandelions. They look so harmless, so green and alive. But as I struggled to pull out the roots of these seemingly harmless plants, I remembered that they aren't harmless. When allowed to grow unchecked, they choke the life out of the healthy plants you want to grow. Sometimes the roots come out so easily, others have to be dug out with more force and thoroughness, else they come back again and squelch out life.

This time in our life has been so challenging. We have been and are being thoroughly de-weeded. And it hurts. One day I feel grace and peace enough to get through the day and the next I feel so messy inside. I don't know which way is up and which way is down. Sometimes I can't hear God's voice through the chorus of voices in my life. This has been a harder week for me. And it's only Tuesday....

I've been fighting God on a few different things and that's a yucky place to be. A lot of people have a lot of great ideas of where/what/who we should be right now and it's all born out of love but sometimes God doesn't have the same ideas. I think that I'm coming to the realization that I've been hanging on to some things that I was sure God was going to give us since He didn't "give" us any of the other things we asked for. I've realized that maybe I thought Ben had to let everything go and I could hang on to a few last wisps of dreams.

But no.....God, in his gentle, not-so-gentle way has been quietly pulling out roots and speaking to me about giving in and fully trusting Him with everything. I won't go into too many specifics because I'm not entirely sure how this will all play out in the next week or two but I think maybe God has been saying no to a lot of things lately, like every single bit of housing we have been applying for/looking at, including the one we fell in love with last week, because He wants us to give it ALL up. Every single little thing. Ben has reached that point already and is in a place of a lot more peace than I have been in. He already had to fight through giving up his dreams and any ideas of what a job or the future would look like. It was and is an incredibly painful process. One I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I had to give it all up, too, just not quite in the same way. And the last thing I've been hanging onto is the idea that maybe since we obeyed and walked away and gave up so much, He would bless us with a nice place to live. A house, perhaps, with a yard for the kids to run in and bright windows to welcome in the sunshine. A nice neighborhood, excellent schools, happy neighbors. The whole nine yards. It seems like such a small thing to hope for.

There is an apartment we have been offered; that I'm positive I can get tomorrow if I want. But I don't want it. It's old, ugly and cheap "apartment-y" looking.  It's really small. It's not in the area I wanted to live or wanted my kids to go to school. No, it's not in a bad area and is by pretty good schools but it's not what I wanted! I have been fighting it so very hard. I really, really wanted the brand-new house with the cheery yellow laundry room and the pretty soft gray walls with white trim. I wanted the big backyard and the brand-new deck so we could sit out back on the nice evenings and be still and content. I wanted space and color and a feeling of home!

But God doesn't want me to have it right now. I don't know why. I am struggling to let go of the why. He wants me to want Him. Nothing less and nothing more. Just Him.

I think that I'm not the only one who will have to give this small dream up. I think our families will have to let go, too, and just trust that we will be okay. We will thrive and grow and be okay if our focus is above and not here on earthly things. We are being called to deeper things and a deeper outlook on life that the world doesn't understand. We look crazy from the outside and not many people know what to do with us. But God does know what He is doing and I am praying for the courage and the strength to believe that.

Even if I don't understand it.

Pictures and Updates!

I have a few new updates for our situation (and prayer requests!) but first a few pictures of our summer fun:)

A few weeks ago, we went to the zoo with the boys' cousins. It was our first trip to the Columbus Zoo; hot but fun! They had so much fun together!

The boys had their last soccer practice of the summer last week! It was a beautiful night, too. We had a lot of fun watching them all summer, except for the week we sat in the chilly rain to cheer them on;)

After the last practice, Ben's mom (Grandma!) treated us all to ice cream at the local Dairy Queen wanna-be. It was a great night for ice cream!

Zakkai, if you can't tell, had a very blue raspberry slushy! Either that or he's really cold;)

Ah! He was very proud of that blue tongue!

Copying her brother:) She looks like a little orphan Annie with the dirt all over her face. She face-planted into the dirty mulch on the little playground while Samuel and Zakkai were playing soccer.

And a few days ago, we met some friends at a cute park to play.

It was really hot out in the sun so we were practically melting by the time we left!

Two of my cuties:)

And this past weekend, the kids and I drove to Dayton to meet with some of our old house group cronies! And by old, I mean long-time, not old! We went to the Cox Arboretum and had a lot of fun checking out their different gardens, the Butterfly house and even a maze! This was a really cool tree house tower that we climbed. Samuel is at the WAY top:)

Here is Zakkai in the maze.

Eliana and her friend A. were having fun running around until Eliana fell into a bush. Then all her tiredness came to the fore and she hung out in the stroller for awhile.

We went into the Butterfly House, which was sadly lacking butterflies but had lots of caterpillars! I pulled out my fun camera and snapped a couple of cool (I thought!) pictures. This was a really pretty green and black striped caterpillar. No idea what kind but pretty still!

And this big guy was hanging on having a little lunch:) Such cool little creatures!
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And for a few little updates on our situation for those who are interested:)

1. Ben now has 3 (count 'em THREE) part-time jobs! He works about 60 hours a week. One of them should become full-time soon and while the most least-likely job for my Dr. guy, has been an absolute blessing in the 8 days he has worked there so far. He gets rave-reviews from all of his co-workers and even led someone to the Lord yesterday! Wow. It is a really cool story! We don't see him very much since he is working like a dog, which is really hard but we are so proud of him. His third part-time job (painting) will end in the next week or two and will ease his schedule and that will help.

2. We found a house that we, okay I, (because Ben couldn't come see it) fell in love with and put in an application to rent it today. We should hear back probably tomorrow sometime if they will choose us or not. We SO need a place to live a soon as possible with school starting in the next 2 weeks. The house was falling apart from neglect when the owner of a local company bought it and completely gutted it and is re-doing it. Literally a brand-new house from the inside out! New dry wall, new roof, siding, floors, kitchen, etc. My mom and Samuel and I went to see it yesterday and it was so beautiful! Please, please pray that this works out and if not, for God to provide something else soon.

3. I got to talk to the principal of the local school yesterday (just in case we get to rent the house!) and she was absolutely wonderful to talk to. She was busy with meetings but took a good 45 minutes in between to call me and answer all of my questions. I felt a lot of peace, should our boys go there this year. But #2 has to happen before we can register them!

We feel like things are on the verge of coming together. It has been a struggle this summer and we have had some ups and downs but the past couple of weeks, have really felt God speaking to us about trusting in Him and waiting on His provision for us. He has given us a lot of peace right now, even in the midst of the unknowns and we are incredibly thankful!

Hopefully I will have more good news soon!

Growing Pains!

We've been feeling a little Christmas-y over here this week and have been hanging lights, baking cookies, playing in the snow and listening to Christmas music!

Okay, who am I kidding? I am the one who has been hanging lights, baking cookies and listening to Christmas music! With Eliana, my little helper, of course:) We were busy out and about yesterday but a lot of the week we have been sticking close to home because it is just freezing outside!!

I was very thankful that our neighbor offered to drive the boys to school and home today (I take her son to/from every day and he comes to church with us!). I was worried about taking Eliana and Baby C out in this frigid weather so it was definitely a blessing. We stayed home and cleaned and baked Cranberry Orange Bread instead:)

As this year is quickly drawing to a close, we are finding ourselves thinking long and hard about what this last year has been for us. It wasn't anything like what we thought or hoped it would be but yet in the end, it was exactly what we needed and asked for. A year of growth.

Yes, I think that is exactly what we should call this year; The Year of Growth. Growth tends to make you think of green plants sprouting, blooming, vibrancy and joy. But if we are being honest (which I like to be on my blog!), we would admit that growth actually is incredibly painful. Spiritual growth, anyways! It involves breaking, humbling, shearing away of hard parts of your heart so that the new life can burst through and begin to bloom. So you can begin to hear the Father's quiet voice again.

That is exactly what is happening to us. I posted a couple months ago about what a difficult season this has been for us and it absolutely has been. Painful, crushing and sometimes hopeless. But God is beginning to answer all of our prayers over these past months and is filling us with new life and hope!

Do we have any answers to our problems or future yet? Nope! But we are sensing God moving and working and filling us up for what is to come. It feels exciting and scary all at the same time! Maybe our next year will be an adventure. Who knows?

All I know is that we are getting ready. Slowly, painfully, and hopefully getting ready. And we are starting by actually being thankful (mostly) for this past year and the pain it has brought. I'm sure we will feel the thankfulness even more as the freshness of the pain begins to heal and we are filled more and more with peace and hope.

Peace and hope are pretty powerful!

"Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." Philemon 1:3

Reminiscence

 I really have nothing new to share other than it being a very busy day! So I thought I'd haul out a couple of sweet memories.

See this cute pudgy thing? This was Eliana the last time we went to Florida! A little baby butterball. No, I am not crying! There's some dust in my eye....

And a year ago, at the end of this month, our sweet girl got her glasses! Wow, has she changed. At night, we pray with her before she goes to sleep and we have gotten in a habit with her of thanking Jesus for everything we can think of. (Lesson to be learned??) She often thanks Jesus for her glasses and my glasses, which always sounds so sweet to me. So thankful she can see and that her eye issues were so pronounced that we were able to get help right away so she didn't lose vision in her eye!

Today during "nap time" (i.e. no nap), among her singing and yelling, there was a lull and I heard Eliana softly saying, "Dank you for Daddy, Dank you for Mommy. Dank you for bed. Dank you for elephants....." It went on for several minutes.

As I was searching for this picture and the date that I posted it, I came across one of my favorite posts that I really needed to be reminded of today. Revelation.

I hope that I can learn to pray with a pure heart full of thanksgiving for what God has done, what He is doing and what He will do!