Waiting and Hoping.

I have been thinking more about what I wrote yesterday. About dreams. Feeling uncertain about what I shared and yet, compelled to share my heart. Because I know I'm not the only one who is going or has gone through a time like this. I think it is so important in the times where you feel a little lost or you are in an "in between/waiting" period, as we are, to look for all of the blessings around you, big and small.

It's so easy to get caught up in your own desires and wants and hopes and feel disappointed that something in your life doesn't look like Joe's life or Sally's life or the Jones'. And instead of focusing on the beautiful little assurances of God's love that are right in front of you, you focus on the "why's" and the "why me's" or "why not's."

There is a quote I heard this year that I just loved right away. "Bloom where you are planted." A friend of mine painted it on a flower pot and gave it to me with a beautiful flower planted inside recently. Bloom where you are planted; where God has you, even if it's not where you think you should be or not where you want to be. That's what I want to do. I want to bloom and look for all that He has for me right here, right now.

Maybe then, I will gain a heavenly perspective and store my treasures there, instead of here on earth. And maybe the waiting time won't seem so long!

"Thing about things that are lovely, things that are true, things that are pure..." There is so much to be thankful for!

1. We had food on our table today. Don't worry about the future!

2. Our children are healthy, strong and growing.

3. We made it to a point in our life we weren't sure we'd ever see! Several students in Ben's program never made it through, or didn't make it through with marriages in tact. God protected us and made us stronger than ever!

4. We have a roof over our head.

5. We are getting to know people in our church and neighbors living around us. Forming relationships and breaking out of the isolation that held us captive for so long.

6. So thankful some family is coming to celebrate with us in 1 month!!

7. But most of all, so very thankful that we (B and I) both are trusting in the Lord together, hoping, waiting (not always patiently!!) and so thankful for today.

Dreams

 I used to have a lot of dreams. Dreams about things I'd like to be or do or accomplish. Dreams are good. They require hope and imagination and a willingness to try something new or hard. They even fuel you on through hard times.

I had so many hopeful dreams. My husband had a dream. Of getting a Ph.D. We prayed, we asked God and the people around us and we received our answer. Go and do it. Did we expect it to be easy? No. But we sure didn't expect it to be as hard as it has been. We're still waiting for the completion of this dream. Waiting. Praying. Hoping.

Somewhere over the past 8 years of pursuing his dream, I lost a lot of my dreams. First I put some of them on hold, knowing that we had to focus solely on my husband's education. Then slowly, some of them died or disappeared, not to be replaced.

The death of a dream is heartbreaking and even crushing. You've wanted something your whole life maybe, and you find out you'll never get it. You grieve. You weep. You wonder if anything can replace that dream or desire.

Maybe you didn't even realize you lost your dreams until it came time to awaken them. And then you realized they were changed or lost or broken.

I am in a place now where it is time for me to awaken my dreams. But I need to find them first. Some aren't there anymore. Some changed. Some seem impossible. Some, as I found out this week, won't happen for a long, long time. And I wept. I feel lost myself, wondering if God still has dreams for me? I am asking for them, praying for them. For new ones. For courage to fight for old ones. For renewal. For peace and most of all.....for hope.

Hope is really powerful. You can't have dreams without hope.

She was a dream once. It's good to remember times when God answered your prayers or brought dreams to life. I prayed for her, asked for her and needed a sign of God being with us through a very difficult time. He answered with her. Not all of His answers are easy. Or make sense. Or are even what you asked for. But somehow, His answers are exactly what you need.

He has dreams, too, and with all of my heart, I want to see them come true. I put mine on hold to see some of his dreams through. No, not because I'm a great person. I failed too many times over the past 8 (or 10, if you count the first Masters!) years to be understanding or patient with all of the sacrifice it required. No, I didn't do it because I'm anything special, I did it because I love him and I believed in his dreams, too. Dreams are important. And I pray, oh how I pray, that God will give my husband his dreams. And hope.

If you have a dream, one that you've tucked away for a long while or haven't pursued out of fear or uncertainty, I urge you not to give up. It may require some courage. Stepping out on a limb. Some sacrifice. Some hope. A lot of trust.  But I, for one, want to be your encourager. A supporter of dreams. A cheerleader. Someone who pushes you on when you aren't sure if you can do it.

I just need to learn to do this for myself. Will you be my encourager? Will you pray with me, that God would give me dreams, the courage to follow them and some hope, too? I want to be used. To serve. To learn to come out of my safe little shell and love others.

"Hope is a waking dream."  -Aristotle.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."  -Eleanor Roosevelt

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”   -H. Jackson Brown Jr. 

 

"Those who believe that everyone has a God-given dream just waiting to be released will see a world full of wonderful potential." –Wayne Cordeiro

 

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." -C.S. Lewis

 

“Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations. For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live. -Henry David Thoreau