I had a few things that I was going to post tonight but in light of what happened a few minutes ago, I'm tossing it all out the window!!
It was a tough day for me. I still don't feel great, especially the first half of the day for some reason (B, too) and Ben went to work so it's just been me and the rambunctious kiddos most of the day. Zakkai was acting up most of the day and Samuel had an attitude part of the day and it just seemed like I was upset with one or the other of them ALL day. We have days like that occasionally and I don't like them!
So I told the boys to get in bed and wait for me to tuck them in after I put E down. I was feeling so defeated, wondering why it seems like years of children-training has gone to pot. I read Missy her story and just held her and rocked while I prayed over her. And I started to pray for all 3 of them, with a heavy heart and tears clogging my throat.
If I could have anything in the world, it would be for my 3 precious children to know and love God and to learn to be kind, loving, respectful, wonderful people! And that's what I prayed for.
I tucked Missy in bed and went into the boys' room. I sat on Zakkai's bed and had a long talk with him about his behavior today and then I told him how I want him to love Jesus and asked him if he wanted that. He nodded and I told him all about when I asked Jesus into my heart as a little girl. Samuel was sitting on his beanbag listening and he perked up when I told the story, as he loves when I tell stories about when I was little. Because I think it's hard for them to grasp that we ever were little people like them:) They asked some questions and I told Zakkai, "When you are ready to do that, when you are ready to ask Jesus to wash allll that yuckiness out of your heart and make you as white as snow and help you learn to love others and be kind and just like Him, you tell me and I'll pray with you."
He nodded and I got up to say goodnight to Samuel and do all the little things to close up shop: closing blinds, turning off lights, etc. I was closing the closet door when Samuel came up beside me, tugged on my arm and said really softly, "Mommy, will you pray with me, too?" At first I thought he meant our bedtime prayer but then I quickly realized that he wanted to say THE prayer.
He first prayed to ask Jesus into his heart almost exactly 2 years ago, May 23rd, 2010. He has a page written in his journal from that night that says, "I love Jesus" in it and a sweet picture. But he doesn't remember that night too much since he wasn't quite 5 years old yet and he said he wanted to pray tonight since he is older.
Tonight my sweet boy became a child of God (again) and it was such a blessing to me because I felt like God heard my cries. Things have been tough lately for a few reasons and I've been asking God if He hears my prayers, especially those I seem to pray over and over with no immediate answers.
Tonight He heard, He knew what I needed and what Samuel needed and He answered. My heart is full. Thank you, God.