Saturday, May 18, 2013


 I used to have a lot of dreams. Dreams about things I'd like to be or do or accomplish. Dreams are good. They require hope and imagination and a willingness to try something new or hard. They even fuel you on through hard times.

I had so many hopeful dreams. My husband had a dream. Of getting a Ph.D. We prayed, we asked God and the people around us and we received our answer. Go and do it. Did we expect it to be easy? No. But we sure didn't expect it to be as hard as it has been. We're still waiting for the completion of this dream. Waiting. Praying. Hoping.

Somewhere over the past 8 years of pursuing his dream, I lost a lot of my dreams. First I put some of them on hold, knowing that we had to focus solely on my husband's education. Then slowly, some of them died or disappeared, not to be replaced.

The death of a dream is heartbreaking and even crushing. You've wanted something your whole life maybe, and you find out you'll never get it. You grieve. You weep. You wonder if anything can replace that dream or desire.

Maybe you didn't even realize you lost your dreams until it came time to awaken them. And then you realized they were changed or lost or broken.

I am in a place now where it is time for me to awaken my dreams. But I need to find them first. Some aren't there anymore. Some changed. Some seem impossible. Some, as I found out this week, won't happen for a long, long time. And I wept. I feel lost myself, wondering if God still has dreams for me? I am asking for them, praying for them. For new ones. For courage to fight for old ones. For renewal. For peace and most of all.....for hope.

Hope is really powerful. You can't have dreams without hope.

She was a dream once. It's good to remember times when God answered your prayers or brought dreams to life. I prayed for her, asked for her and needed a sign of God being with us through a very difficult time. He answered with her. Not all of His answers are easy. Or make sense. Or are even what you asked for. But somehow, His answers are exactly what you need.

He has dreams, too, and with all of my heart, I want to see them come true. I put mine on hold to see some of his dreams through. No, not because I'm a great person. I failed too many times over the past 8 (or 10, if you count the first Masters!) years to be understanding or patient with all of the sacrifice it required. No, I didn't do it because I'm anything special, I did it because I love him and I believed in his dreams, too. Dreams are important. And I pray, oh how I pray, that God will give my husband his dreams. And hope.

If you have a dream, one that you've tucked away for a long while or haven't pursued out of fear or uncertainty, I urge you not to give up. It may require some courage. Stepping out on a limb. Some sacrifice. Some hope. A lot of trust.  But I, for one, want to be your encourager. A supporter of dreams. A cheerleader. Someone who pushes you on when you aren't sure if you can do it.

I just need to learn to do this for myself. Will you be my encourager? Will you pray with me, that God would give me dreams, the courage to follow them and some hope, too? I want to be used. To serve. To learn to come out of my safe little shell and love others.

"Hope is a waking dream."  -Aristotle.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."  -Eleanor Roosevelt

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”   -H. Jackson Brown Jr. 
"Those who believe that everyone has a God-given dream just waiting to be released will see a world full of wonderful potential." –Wayne Cordeiro
"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." -C.S. Lewis
“Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations. For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live. -Henry David Thoreau


Emily and Frank said...

This post made me want to drive to Chicago and give you a hug! I've had many the same thoughts as you, but have not been brave enough to speak them (or blog them) out loud. This wish will definitely be added to my prayer list!

mommyoflove3 said...

Emily, I actually thought of you during writing this! I hope that you can follow your dreams, too and I have even prayed that for you!!

grandma said...

Well Heidi, you come by being a dreamer from your Grandma..I am such a dreamer..As you are finding out not all our dreams come true but I must tell you I know now that a lot of my dreams God knew it would not be better for me. I might say in the end God gave more than I ever dreamed..He knows best..If we can only trust Him..Let me say in the end He answers better than we can even imagine..You know you and Ben are in our prayers..