What a Week!

Man, oh, man! Is it only Thursday?? Z has had such a rough week:( He coughed and cried for me alll night and woke up with a 102 temp this morning so I called the drs office 2.4 seconds after they opened and got him in a.s.a.p.



The dr did a breathing treatment right away because his oxygen level was a little low and he was wheezing and had a "squeak" in his lung. Poor baby:( You could see his belly sucking in so far to get air in. The dr was very relieved to hear, after the breathing treatment, that his airways were much more open and sent us home with a prescription for steroids and an inhaler.



Meet Zakkai's medicine shelf:


And that's not including the mask that he has to wear for the inhalers and the vaporizer that is running most of the day and the vaseline that I am now having to reapply to his poor upper lip/nose because it is getting raw again.



Man, oh man! Someone give this poor kid a break! It's been a month now. He made it to 1 whole hour of school this week and never got to bring his birthday treat for his school friends. Hopefully that will change on Monday!


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Samuel came with me after school to pick up our 5 prescriptions and had to use the bathroom while we were there. The door was locked with a keypad so the pharmacist let him in, and Samuel turned around and asked me for some "privacy." I stepped out and a minute later heard, "Mommy!! mommy!" His voice sounded a little panicked and I wondered what in the world could've happened.



I told him he had to let me in because the door was locked. I heard the door click open and stepped in and listened to him sheepishly tell me..."Mommy, my hat fell in the toilet!"



What??!! I looked over, horrified to see his red knitted hat half submerged in public bathroom toilet water. Yuck.And then I laughed incredulously as he told me the toilet tried to swallow it.



The hat came home in a plastic CVS bag and had to get a "bath." Life with children is never dull!!!


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I have felt so overwhelmed and unorganized lately, despite my attempts to weed through things at our house and simplify. Just feeling like I have no time to accomplish things that are important to me like quiet times, exercise, crafting, etc. (not to constantly trying to remember to pay bills, fill out paperwork for school, making phone calls, and trying desperately to get caught up on bdays!)because I am so busy taking care of this household and this family.



I tend to beat myself up over things not being able to accomplish it all, wondering how it is that "other people" (whoever these phantom people are!" can do it and I can't.



I set the bar too high for myself with this ideal "perfect mom/wife/friend/sister/daughter/woman." And I fail over and over and over again. And really, is it any wonder?



And then today I gave myself a little grace for the first time. Grace? What's that? Grace for myself? You mean I don't have to be...perfect?



I was taking a shower tonight and unwinding before getting ready for bed and thought, "Wait. I know that I really want and need to fit more things into my schedule like exercising and crafting (I finally figured out a way to get in a quiet time) but...BUT maybe there is a good reason why I can't right now... like I don't know, I've not had a good night's sleep since October (or really before that if you think about end-stage pregnancy) with Sweet Miss's arrival, I've had a seriously sick child for a whole month now and I've been doing time and a half since Ben has been extra busy."



Oh-hhh. Maybe that's why I am too tired at night to do anything other than check the computer and fall asleep reading a book. Maybe, just maybe that's a pretty good reason to just slow down and be in the evenings until I build myself back up enough so I can take care of myself.



Wow, so that's grace? Freedom. Freedom from guilt.

I should try this again sometime.