As I am writing, the aroma of baking pizza is filling the air. Not a bad smell! We have been trying to branch out with our tastes and try new things now that we have our awesome pizza stone, which Ben adores. It improved our crust so much! Tonight we are trying Roasted Garlic Chicken Pizza with a white sauce and spinach. It is as delicious as it looks! mmmm. Definitely a keeper.
Zakkai is doing much better, except for a worsening cough. He was still pretty sick yesterday morning and threw up 2 more times but after sleeping for awhile, his fever broke around mid-morning. Yea! He perked up a lot and was able to eat a little soup by lunchtime.
He woke up with a ton more energy today but still has a sore throat and his cough sounds absolutely terrible right now. I really hope he won't go into bronchitis or something:( So far, everyone else is holding strong!
Samuel just told Zakkai that he sounds like barking seal. I nipped that one in the bud because it brought back bad memories of my family (okay, my sisters) making fun of me for my terrible cough when I had pneumonia in middle school. It was a horrible cough and took forever to go away. I really hated being told it was a "man cough." It makes me shudder in sympathy to hear my poor boy!
I am listening to Ben share his heart with our boys. They read a Bible story together while the pizza was cooking and talked about "real food." Not just pizza or food for the body but food for the soul. With all of these things we have been through and struggled through (and are struggling through), we will have so much to teach our children. We will have real ways to prepare them for life at our finger tips. How to hang on, how to cling to Jesus when everything else is falling part.
When YOU are falling apart. Because chances are, it will happen. Sometimes God chooses to allow us to be brought to the brink. The place where you have absolutely nothing to depend on, nowhere to turn, no one to call out to...but Him. It's an absolutely horrible place to be, especially when you're in it. But at the same time, I reluctantly suppose, there is a raw, painful beauty in your desperate need to cry out to your Savior. Your saving grace.
There is thirst. And thirst makes you search for water; living water. So, I guess that's where we are now. Thirsty. There are some verses that I found about a year ago that really spoke to us.
"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord. 8"For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes. It's leaves will be green; it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit."
That's what we would really like to be. And haven't been. We haven't been able not to fear or be anxious or yield fruit in our year(s) of drought. And we recognize that and long to change. We are thirsty. Thirsty for life again. And God is answering those prayers little by little and we believe He will continue to. Even though it doesn't look anything like we hoped it would.
We will trust that it will be better than we hoped for because our Father knows what is best for us. And He sees the whole picture, not just the little 2 dimensional slice that we have in front of us. We just have to be thirsty enough to run to Him and cling to Him while we wait.