11 Years.

Today we have been married for 11 years! As I think about what marriage entails and what it looks like now as opposed to 11 years ago, I have some things I'd like to say.

To the young couple, newly married or about to enter into marriage:

I used to feel a little disappointed when older married couples, veterans if you will, would say that the newness would wear off and we wouldn't always be in the young puppy love stage. It was so hard to believe. I thought we would feel "twitter-pated" like the young animals in Bambi forever!

The truth is, those married veterans were right. The giddiness fades and the newness loses it's shininess. Your wedding ring might get some little scratches or nicks in it. You will begin to get wrinkles around your eyes and some gray hairs on your head. Your spouse's lips will become familiar, their hands warm and comforting. Your "I Love You's" will slip into the routine of the day.


But you know what? It doesn't have to be disappointing. There is a steadiness in a tried and true love. It is familiar and safe. It is strong and beautiful. As long as you put hard work into it and fight for it!

Young Lovers, I would say to you, fight. Fight for your marriage. Fight with everything in you to keep it strong and healthy. You will not fully understand what commitment means when you say "I Do" (even though you think you do!) but you will understand what it means 11 years later. Or 20 years later. Or 60 years later.

It means that there will be days where you are sick or tired; there will be days where there isn't enough money to cover the bills or maybe the "extras" ; there will be seasons where you won't have money or babysitters to go on dates; there will be times when you're angry or disappointed with each other; there will be days when you have to make the choice to love. There maybe times when your spouse is depressed and you have to carry the load. There may be seasons where you can't see beyond the day you are struggling through. There will be times when you cry tears of grief together. Or even alone.

There will also be days where your eyes meet and no words are needed to express the love you have for each other. There will be inside jokes that only make the two of you laugh. There will be that warm body to snuggle up to on the cold nights or in the morning that makes it hard to get up. There will be cards with written words of love on special occasions or just because. There will be a smile on your face when you see each other at the end of the day. There will be quiet nights where you snuggle and watch movies and just enjoy each other's presence.

Your very own, custom-made, built-in best friend.

Friends, I know now, 11 years later, what commitment means. And I know what it doesn't mean. I have watched people close to me give up the fight and walk away, not even realizing all that they have lost or given up. Or people who thought their own happiness and desires were more important than the other person's. And they chose themselves over selfless love. It's something we all have to fight against.

I told Ben the other day that one of the most precious gifts we can give our 3 little ones, is a healthy, thriving marriage for them to watch, to learn from and hopefully to want to emulate.

And so, on this day, 11 years after we spoke our solemn vows before our Lord and Savior and wonderful family and friends, I say to you, my dearest Husband,

I promise to spend how many ever years we have left together on this earth fighting for our marriage. I will fight to love you each and every day. To forgive you when you hurt me.  To ask for forgiveness when I hurt you. To lift you up when you fall down. To continue to learn to speak words of peace instead of words that hurt. To keep learning how to think of you over myself. To keep falling in love with you over and over again. I promise to learn from our mistakes and to always be fighting for a future. Our future together. Our legacy that we are even now making and will leave behind for Samuel, Zakkai and Eliana.

I promise to stay true to you. To keep making my Lord first in my heart so I can know how to love you better and better with each passing year. I promise to keep laughing with you.

We have so many precious memories together. We are now fighting through one of the hardest times we have ever been through and yet, here we are. We made it through something that causes many marriages to fail, due to the heavy weight of sacrifice. And we are still holding hands and kissing hello and goodbye, saying "I love you" so many times a day and knowing we really mean it. We have proven ourselves best friends o'er and o'er and will continue to every day for the rest of our lives.

I thank God for each day we've had together and the character we've built through the perseverance of fighting through life together. And I pray that He will heal our wounds and be our foundation and help us cling to Him and each other for all the rest of our days.

I love you so very much, Ben. Happy Anniversary.

Not So Spring Concert!

Remember those frosted trees I told you about the other day? Here's a snapshot of a winter wonderland! Well, except none of us think it's a winter wonderland anymore:) Today was warmer so a lot of snow melted. The sidewalks are a nasty messy mix of mud and huge puddles. The grass that is now showing is also muddy and beyond saturated. The parts of grass that are not exposed yet are covered in snow piles that are a few inches deep to 3-4 feet deep. It will be a LONG time before we dry out!

Eliana got herself all prettied up as a ballerina the other afternoon, with dressy shoes and all:) Amazing how she can prance around in so little clothing on such a cold day!

Last night was the boys' spring concert! They have been SO excited all week and were practically bouncing off the walls all afternoon. The music teacher said that originally they were hoping that the snow would be gone and our days would be spring-like in time for the concert. Unfortunately, we all know it's not-so-spring like around here yet! At least it was springy inside. This was the first grade singing. Each grade had a spring theme. First grade's song themes were "Everything Grows."

Z is in the left middle. Hard to see in a sea of green!

The second grade theme was "Seasons Change" and third grade was "I Must Do My Part." The last songs were sung by the 4th and 5th grade chorus and their theme was "You Always Reap What You Sow." The songs had great messages and all the music and words were written by the music teacher!

This is 3rd grade and Samuel is in the front row, far left.

Starting in 3rd grade, they get to learn the recorder:) We have heard a lot of squeaky notes around here all year! Those are the recorders hanging around their necks:)

 

Here are a few really short clips of the concert. Eliana kept bumping my arm, trying to watch what I was recording so sorry about the lack of steadiness. And the lady's head in the way:) Only so much you can do from far away with a camera phone!

 

The first clip are the first graders (with Z), the second is the recorder song by the third graders and the 3rd clip are the 3rd graders singing. Cute!

It was a fun little concert. Eliana said they should do it again tonight:) Happy Friday!

Looking for the bright side..

I heard it was 80 in Texas today.....Here? It was 30 and we got MORE snow! Even Eliana is officially through with winter. I told her yesterday that we were going to get more snow and she said, "But I don't want anymore snow!" No kidding, girlie.

But we try to look at the bright side when we can and the bright side today was that the trees were actually beautiful. The mix of rain and wind helped the snow stick to all of the trees so when you drove down the tree-lined street, it looked like you were driving under a canopy of frosting-covered trees. Really pretty.

However, bright side or not, go away winter!

Eliana and I went to MOPS today and I got to hear some advice from some more well-seasoned mamas. We have a "mentor" mother for each table, who is there to share her motherly wisdom and insights. Some of them seem so nice and grandmotherly:) We had to leave a little early to take Ben to get his license renewed. Somebody accidentally didn't know his license expired until he went to buy me Sudafed this weekend. Oops! (shhh! don't tell!)

Amazingly, we found a little express driver's license place a half hour away and B was in and out in less than 15 min! Unheard of around here. The people inside were apparently decently friendly, too. Also amazing. Let's just say that the majority of government run businesses in Chicago are not employing the happiest and softest of people. Actually, not just gov't but a lot of retail. I think they get so hardened by the people that they see day in and day out and the situations they have to deal with.

I was so amazed when we moved out to the 'burbs and started experiencing nice customer service on a regular basis! Something I do not take for granted.

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*Samuel presented his poster today. His project got him so interested in space that he checked out a book about comets and asteroids from his school library:) I love when they get interested in different subjects!

*We are working out a few little bugs with our sticks system. It really has been wonderful; we've just had to tweak a few things. The weekends are run differently than the weekdays so we are adjusting to that and trying to figure out how discipline/punishments fit into the system and timing of our day.

Here is the chart I made. They earn an extra chore for each sign they have to take down and if they lose 3 in one day, they lose a colored stick. boo. Unfortunately, we had that happen for the first time today. Just really trying to crack down on not listening, arguing and talking back. It honestly hurts me as much as it does them. I know kids probably don't believe that but it is so true. Hopefully, it will only take a couple of times and it won't happen again.

*Zakkai got a couple of gift cards and a little $ for his birthday and bought some rollerblades!! He is SOOOO excited.

As you can see from his face:) The first night (in these pics) he couldn't stand up on his own and needed a lot of help but by the next afternoon of some basement practicing, he was doing great! He cannot wait for the ground and sidewalks to dry up so he can get outside and get roller blading! I have a feeling the boys will be roller blading and skateboarding alllll summer long:)

*I made a delicious dinner tonight called, "Coconut Curry Chicken." It's a crockpot meal and so easy. I will have to share the recipe next time, as I am way too lazy to get up right now:) It is different from things I normally make but it has such a good flavor between the coconut milk and curry. I serve it over rice and everyone gobbles it up!

*B and I are holding strong with giving up our sweets for Lent. It really is good for us on so many levels. Anytime I get really tempted and think I can't stand another minute without a little sweet, I say a prayer instead. The first few days were really tough but it's getting so much easier now. That doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to our one little treat on Fridays;)

My mom had a good suggestion since she and my stepdad are doing "clean eating." She said to make a smoothie in the evening if we are craving something. I have done it twice and just throw fresh and frozen fruit, some milk and spinach in the blender! I must've put in more spinach tonight though because Zakkai was like, "Um, why is the smoothie green??" But no one complained when they tasted it! I figure we are killing two birds with one stone: satisfying the sweet tooth and getting a good dose of extra fruits and veggies. Win win:)

Too bad chocolate isn't a fruit. That would be a dream come true and I know I'm not the only one that would think so! Chocolate addictions run in my family and I don't think anyone's ashamed to admit it....

I should probably stop writing about chocolate. It's not helping me:)

*Tomorrow night is the boys' spring concert at school and they are so excited. They've been humming and singing little snippets of songs for weeks now. I know Eliana will really enjoy seeing her big brothers up on the stage!

Hopefully I will have a few pictures to share......Have a great night!

Ballerinas, Crazy Boys and Mars!

What do Ballerinas, Crazy Boys and Mars have to do with each other? A lot in this family! They are all related:)

Today Eliana and I went to Kohls on the hunt for some brown pants for the boys, who have a spring concert this week. Apparently, they have to wear green shirts and brown pants. You know....spring....trees....something like that;) Anyways, there is a lot of winter clearancing going on at Kohl's right now and I randomly came across this adorable ballerina leotard!

How cute is this? Eliana wanted to put it on over her pants and be a ballerina for the afternoon. Here she is trying to do a ballerina pose that I was showing her:)

Here is her on-command "happy grin" that she insists on. She's a cutie, this one! She and Baby Anna also scored a set of matching nightgowns on clearance for only a few dollars. They are both happily sleeping in them tonight:)

I see this look a lot from this kid. I think he's practicing for the teenage years. I have a few more years to prepare, right?

He also gives us a lot of these smiles! He's such a funny boy and has such a good sense of humor.

And...so does this one! He was nuts after school today and absolutely refused to hold still for a picture...

Our crazy Z-man!

Samuel has been working hard on a school project that's due tomorrow. Thankfully, Ben is very helpful when it comes to these things because it overwhelms me to add one more thing into the mix! Samuel worked hard on it and it looks great!

He's very proud:) He presented it to Zakkai and I tonight at bedtime and we applauded him and called him "Dr Mars," which he thought was funny!

We had a really busy weekend, which is very unusual for us home-bodies:) I went to a baby shower on Saturday with a friend and came home to a frazzled Daddy and an over-tired napless 3 year old who had a terrible time going to sleep. And yesterday after church we were invited to some friends' house to have lunch and meet another family. It was really nice, although exhausting since our social muscles are a little weak, ha. The boys played really well with the other boys and Eliana followed their 13 year old son around like a puppy! He's very sweet and gentle with the little ones and would actually make a great babysitter.

Today we enjoyed a beautiful spring-like day! The sun was out and we made it just over 50 degrees, which felt amazing! It would've been a great walk to school this afternoon, if it wasn't for the puddles and nasty muddy messes all over the sidewalks and street corners. It will be a good long while before the snow is melted and everything is dry. We are just starting to see grass again and I hear a terrible rumor that it is going to snow another few inches tomorrow night. Sigh.

Ah, well, if we have to be cozy inside, at least I have my ballerina, crazy boy and Dr Mars to keep me company:)

Sticks, Forts and Lent!

I meant to come back and update on the sticks earlier but a certain adorable 3 year old someone so kindly shared her cold with me and I have been just plain miserable!!

Thankfully, today my head doesn't completely feel like exploding and despite not sleeping well, I am functioning a little better:) I suppose I was due for one last good old cold before spring finally pries winter's clutches off of us!

As for the sticks, they.are.awesome. Seriously, absolutely best plan we have implemented yet! The boys LOVE them and eagerly set them up each night in order for the next day. We have had no complaints so far and all 3 kiddos have earned their colored sticks every day this week!

And the best part? I have a lot more free time now that I'm not nagging so much!!! Really, this is amazing. I wake up everyday to the boys' beds made and their pjs put away instead of tossed on the ground. They eat breakfast, clean up their dishes and have extra time usually to spend time with a sibling or do their quiet time.

A couple of times I've had to stop myself (or Ben has reminded me) to step back and let them fail if they need to. It's hard to let go of micromanaging when you are so good at it! But I bite my tongue and let them do what they need to do and somehow they are getting it all done! If you have children, DO THIS!! You won't regret it!

Eliana may have a moment or two everyday in ridiculous toddler-fashion where she swears off sticks forever but she is right back to proudly dropping her next stick in the cup an hour later:) I am so happy we have tried this!

Last week, E and I stopped by Panera for their Tuesday bagel deal (a baker's dozen for only $6.99!) and we heard this little guy peeping above us so cheerily. Like a sign that spring really will come someday!

Daddy and the boys were playing Mario Kart this weekend and Eliana decided to make a little house. Can you guess where she is?

Peek a boo! She got the boys into it and next thing you know, all three of them were collecting blankets and building little personal-sized forts all over the living room:) I do love when something simple like that entertains them for hours, just the way it used to for us when we were little.
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Lent really sprung upon us this year. Probably because we have been preoccupied with minor things like figuring out what to do with our life:) This is only our second year ever taking part in Lent and appreciating the traditions and beauty of what it represents. Our sugar consumption has crept back upon us with the comfort of ice cream and what-not so we have decided to cut it out completely, except for Fridays. So....I guess not completely. Almost completely:)  I think it will be hard, as my chocolate cravings have been speaking lovingly to me lately but I think it will be good for both of us.

Ben told me that besides chocolate and alcohol, the next top two things people are giving up this season are Twitter and Social Media. Boy, our culture has changed! I would give up FB in a heartbeat, if it weren't for the fact that my family has a private family page and I love seeing the updates and posts from my family. It makes me feel more connected to my loved ones who are dispersed all over the country.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to blow my nose, unplug my ears and pray for spring.....