Another week beginning tomorrow, wow! We have been working hard, one day at a time, to get things into shape here and trying to get routines and schedules going again. I am the type that could keep going and going all day because it annoys me to have so many things left undone. Ben is the type that has to plan everything out each day and has a definite limit to what he can accomplish in a day. I guess we balance each other out:)
We are on the hunt for a second car and it's just about as painful as searching for a home! I forgot what a torturous experience car hunting is. We last went through it when we got our van four years ago in preparation for Miss Eliana joining our family. We swore we'd never go through that again! Ha.
Last weekend we had a strikeout with a car that seemed decent and was a great price. Only to take it to the mechanic and find out that it needed a new transmission, new front breaks, a timing belt and 3 new tires. Yeah....right.
This weekend we had two duds. The first probably was a great car but was at a really shady dealer. Something was really off with these people and when they couldn't even give us a carfax report because of supposed password issues but just wanted us to take their word that the car was "perfect" we decided to drive away. The next place was just plain annoying because we wasted a few hours getting the car checked out only to have the manager refuse to deal. The car was a good car, just needed a few things fixed. They must've paid too much for it so we said "See ya later, alligator!" The only good thing out of it was that we found a good mechanic and he will inspect the next car for free. I can only pray that the "next" car will be "the" car. It's been hard to rely on other people to help us get around! I get the car one day a week, thanks to Ben's mom being sweet enough to take Ben to work on Thursday mornings. I get a lot of errands done in my one car day:)
We are taking life one day at a time, healing and growing healthier as a family following God together. These past few years have been the years of the locusts for us. Absolutely crushing and life-sucking. We have nothing to show for it and absolutely no assurance of any sort of wonderful outcome or easy answers. Perhaps ever. Nothing comes easily for us (seriously...nothing) but the good part about it all is that is has and is forcing us to depend on Him in an incredibly painfully beautiful way. We have learned/are learning what the most important thing in this life is. Jesus. Anything that comes after that is simply a gift to be thankful for but nothing to be put in His place.
I'd be lying if I said I was learning these lessons graciously. It's plain ugly sometimes. But I am beginning to appreciate growth, however slow and painful, and that it's okay if I don't grow at the same pace as others. Take Ben for instance. He's like a wild horse sometimes. He'll jump in with both feet (or all four), even if it isn't his comfort zone and have to be reigned in. Down, boy, whoaaa! Whereas, I am more timid and need a push. I don't like to get out of my comfort zone at all. It kind of struck me the other day that it's okay if I don't jump in with my two feet blindly. As long as I keep moving, keep growing, and stay open to being pushed out of my comfort zone.
I want to be a tree like in Jeremiah 17:8. Slow and steady, that's me!