Precious Life

Life is so fragile and sometimes it takes living with a two year old to be reminded of it. I wish I could say it started out as a calm uneventful day but it didn't. It started with me going to a dr.'s appointment that may or may not result in bad news (hopefully not!!). We had just left the building, suckers in the boys 'hands for being so good. We unwrapped them and continued to walk down the sidewalk. Zakkai suddenly handed back his sucker stick that had somehow come loose (one of those suckers with the loop sticks). I took it and continued to walk with that niggling thought in the back of my mind that I should take the sucker from him and give him a new one. But I didn't and I regret it.

As I was walking I was watching Zakkai, who was sitting in the stroller, closely and I asked him a couple of minutes later how he was and how his sucker was. He nodded his head happily, looking around when suddenly he lurched forward and made this terrible noise. I immediately stopped and came around in front of him, hoping that he was able to cough the sucker out. He didn't and was starting to gag and trying to scream. He was panicking and I was trying not to, thinking any second he would cough it up. He kept trying to cough and was gagging and then tried to throw up. I was pulling him out of the stroller as a passerbyer stopped to ask if we were okay. She saw what was happening and called an ambulance.

Zakkai was throwing up and gagging and trying to scream (a good sign) and I was trying to bend him over my leg, help him throw up and comfort Samuel, who was so worried. By this point, the sidewalk, Zakkai and I were covered in throw up but still no sucker. We heard the sirens coming; thankfully we were only minutes from the firestation and the hospital. Zakkai was choking on this thick mucous (sorry) when the firemen and paramedics stopped and started coming over. They were so calm as they took him from me. My hands were shaking and I had tears running down my face but was still trying to be a comforting mommy. Zakkai was crying which they kept saying was such a good sign because he was breathing. They helped us climb up into the ambulance and strapped us in and we took off with the sirens blaring.

Right at this point, I believe the sucker piece went down his throat because he only gagged a few more times and calmed down considerably. He coughed and cried a lot but was starting to show an interest in the siren. The paramedics were so nice and calm. They took us right to Comer Children's Hospital and carried Zakkai in so gently. They got us settled before they left. I am so thankful.

The triage nurse checked his breathing and oxygen and said it sounded good and, since he was calm now (but kind of in shock!), they sent us out to the waiting room to wait. I sat there with a very subdued Zakkai for a long time, unable to get ahold of Ben, until finally Zakkai perked up and started to play. I watched him like a hawk for about an hour and when we still didn't get called back, I consulted with a nurse and we agreed since he was now smiling and playing happily, that the sucker was probably in his stomach. I left the hospital with a VERY tired little boy who got lectured by his very wise older brother the whole way back to the car on how dangerous suckers are and how we should never put the whole thing in our mouths:)

I laid my tired baby- not-so-baby down for his nap and after I read him a story, watched those big blue eyes close in exhaustion. He was really restless for several minutes, which is unusual but finally relaxed and all I could do was praise God that he is okay! I am thankful for the girl who stopped to call for help. I am thankful for the firemen and paramedics with their gentle care and quick response. I am thankful that God covers me in the mistakes I make as a mommy. I am thankful that all he has is a bit of a sore throat. But most of all I am thankful for the precious life of my little boy whom I love so much.

Boogy Woogy

For your enjoyment: Samuel boogieing down! He didn't know I was recording for a second then you see him freeze but continue on with his amazing dancing talent:)

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In other news, I had a creepy encounter today, which isn't too unusual for Chicago:) I was at Target with the boys making a desperate diaper run and got to the elevator at the same time as this middle aged woman. (You have to take an elevator from the parking garage to the store.) She was slower on her feet like maybe she had a hip problem. She was kind of angry that the elevator closed before we could get on but then the lady inside opened it for us. She made her way inside as I held the door for her. A few more people got shut out and then let on and Samuel exclaimed, "Mommy, there are SO many people in here!!"

The lady let out a big guffaw and said in a very deep voice, "Which one said that?!" I pointed to Samuel and she boomed, "Haha. That's so funny." I glanced at her a couple of times because she was staring at the boys intently with her long blondish hair hanging over half of her face. Hey, I am a mom and when I'm with my chickies, I notice the people around me especially carefully.

She let us off the elevator first and I thought that was the end of her. But then as I picked through the line of broken and squeaky carts, I noticed her a few feet away staring at me. I was a little un-nerved but pretended that I didn't see her. As I lifted Zakkai into the cart, she hobbled towards me, coming closer and closer. I lifted my head and there she was far into my personal space. I could see every line and every wart on her face, the watery eyes of this stranger boring into me. She started stage whispering to me:

"Excuse me, I need to ask you a very personal question. (immediately I am starting to get a little freaked out) I don't want the children to hear (lady, this better be good...). You see, there is all of this mis-information going around about me with the police and....did I scare you when I got on the elevator? (where in the world is she going with this?!) Because they say I hurt children and did I scare you? I noticed you looking at me."

I am backing away and lifting Samuel into the back of the cart, shaking my head and with a bright, false smile, I say "No, no...no, you didn't scare me (but you sure are now, lady!). No..." She is backing away, too at this point and throws out a final, "Good, good. Because I like children." And then she disappeared.

I immediately started praying for protection because I had no idea if this lady was crazy and was going to do something or was just a lonely stranger trying to clear her name. Either way.....c.r.e.e.p.y. The rest of the way through the store, I found myself suspiciously scanning the aisles around me, looking for her looming face. In the parking lot as I buckled my chickies in, I kept looking over my shoulder, making sure she wasn't there. You never know these days.....Thankfully, I didn't see her again. That's today's creepy adventure. The end.

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And lastly, if you could keep me in your thoughts and prayers, I had a dr's appointment today that didn't go so well and I have a follow-up visit with a specialist tomorrow morning. I am really trying to make sure that the foothold of fear does not creep back in and try to ensnare me like it did several months ago, when I was facing another possible health issue. I just want to rest in peace. Thank you!

And a very special thank you to our very, very favorite neighbor and my wonderful friend, J, for watching the boys today. They love you and trust you SO much and so do I. We are blessed by your friendship!

I'm Alive!!

I think I have finally shaken this stomach bug and I'm back into the blogging world:) Aside from being sick and having family in town, we've also been livin' up "E Week!" Please let me share!

E is for: (in no particular order:)

Painting the letter E which stands for Earth!


Painting in/with egg cartons! Z is very serious about painting his earth Red!

Excited to have my sissy and her hubby in town!

Extraordinarily alike in many ways!
Adding the letter E to our alphabet wall

E is for Elephant! (see D for Dinosaur that I forgot to post last week:)

E is for Hard-boiled Eggs! A new fav of the boys
Coloring the letter E

E is also for Eggplant (excitedly picked out and reluctantly eaten by the boys), elephants (watched some cute youtube videos of baby elephants), Elmo, the earth, and exhausted, oh wait...I mean, Exuberant Energy!!

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We had a great time with my family this weekend. The boys were incredibly excited for them to come (and so was I!) So excited, in fact, that when Samuel woke up to go potty in the middle of the night Friday night (they came after the boys were asleep) he asked me if Aunti K and Uncle Tim were here yet! We watched a movie, went downtown (they've never been before), played lots of games, had girl time (yea for girly sister time!), hung out, ate yummy food and played. Samuel was so sad when they left that he cried:( I tried to cheer him up by reminding him that we have more, that's right, more family coming! Grandma (B's mom!) is coming this weekend!!

F is for Family!

Boo hoo

I don't feel like this today. I woke up sick. Bummer. It's pretty hard to care for two cooped up busy bees when you feel like....well, maybe you don't want to know what I feel like.

Here's to hoping I wake up all better tomorrow! I have more family coming!

Big Boy, Little Boy

My Samuel is 4 years old. 4! Yesterday morning he said, "Mommy, remember when I turned 4 last summer and had cake and ice cream?" I do remember, Samuel...only it wasn't last summer, it was barely 2 months ago:) But time is going too fast. My sweet little peach fuzz baby was 8 weeks old when we moved here. And now he's old enough to start preschool!

I'm feeling sad about that because many of his little buddies around here are going off to preschool but we couldn't get in. I tried 3 different places and still haven't heard back from them, after multiple attempts. I felt a pang of sadness today thinking that Samuel should be somewhere with other friends his age, working on social skills, learning how to participate in group settings and well, growing up. (Not that I want him to do that!)

But I can't imagine sending him to kindergarten suddenly next year, 5 days a week, having never even tested out preschool. He would be so sad and probably feel abandoned by me, resulting in years of therapy! Oh, all right! I guess I'm a little dramatic sometimes:) It may or may not run in my family....

Anyways, I'm a little sad tonight. Sad that my little boy is growing up and old enough for preschool and sad that my big boy isn't getting to go. I have to trust that there is a reason for him not getting in and that a better opportunity will open up for him. I know God loves him even more that I do, which is so hard to imagine, and that I'll probably look back on this in a year and laugh at how silly I was for wanting my big little boy to grow up and go off to school.

For now, I guess I'll just go peek at his sweet, innocent sleeping face and give him kisses and be thankful that he's still little enough to enjoy that:)