Today..

I:

*Am 49 days away from my due date! Or 7 weeks if you will. It feels like I have been pregnant for a year now...

*Took a walk to pic up Z (as I've been trying to do most days) and I breathed in the fresh air and listened to the quiet sounds of the neighborhood and felt so content.

*Got complimented 3 times on being a cute pregnant lady, one time by a stranger! It's nice to get a compliment every once in awhile:)

*Went to parent-teacher conferences and came home with an armload of papers that I had to spend over a half an hour sorting, dividing, and signing. Then I gave up and decided to finish them later. Hopefully I won't forget...

*Cooked my first crockpot meal of the season! It was so nice to relax this afternoon for a few extra stolen moments since dinner was already prepared. Note to self: I must do this more often...

*Was so proud of Samuel for being brave and going to gym even though he was really anxious and teary. He ended up doing a great job and got a thumbs up from his teacher!

*Met some parents of my boys' classmates that are very socially awkward. It was....well, awkward to say the least!

*Became one day closer to becoming a Swagger Wagon driver! The dealership is negotiating and if our mechanic inspection goes well tomorrow afternoon....we shall hand over the keys to our trusty and much-loved Camry and drive home in a Sienna. Now for parallel parking a van....

*Had to refuse getting down on the ground to play cars with the boys because I was afraid I wouldn't get back up again...

*Realized I am way too excited about going apple picking in 10 days. I am wondering what that says about me...


*Am so thankful for so many things, including sense of peace just around the corner as things settle down a little more here.

And we're off....

To a better week!

This big kindergartner is plugging away, trying so hard to be strong and brave. He had such a great day on Friday but definitely needed the quiet weekend that we had! And so did the rest of us...

He is now afflicted with Z's cold which is making him slightly more grumpy. We walked into his classroom this morning and he hung up his bag reluctantly and then came to me and said, "I don't think I want to do this today. I'm not too sure about this..."

But his teacher saw that he was hesitating in saying goodbye and quickly told him she had a special job for him. Thankfully, there was no crying as we said our goodbyes. Maybe not exactly happy, but I'll take it!

Tomorrow may be a different story. It's gym day and he is NOT thrilled...

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In other news, after a bit of a car hiatus, we attempted to visit another dealership today. We have, for now, given up on Honda as we have had 2 bad experiences, and instead turned to trusty Toyota. We had a really pleasant experience! The car we went into see turned out to be a dud but lo and behold, they had another one, different color, two cars down that we could look at. It was in better condition all the way around, hence it being priced $2500 more than the other. (also why we didn't look at it in the first place!)

We did some quick negotiating and test driving and appraising for our car and basically we stalled with a $900 difference between what we can pay and what they are offering. So, we shook hands  with Eddie and walked away in peace, knowing that if this is the van we're supposed to have, it will work out! We sure have put a lot of prayer into finding a car!

It was really nice to have such a good experience. We are getting to be pros at this car stuff.

Not that I want to go through this again.

For a long, long time.

Or ever.

As a matter of fact, next time I am going to pray that a new car miraculously shows up outside on our driveway with a big bow on it.

 That is, when we have a driveway.

Silly sick boy

Wow, 4 days of school down and we already have our first sickness. Sigh. I really really hope we don't have a winter like last year!

This little guy has a cold. He claims he is "very very sick." But I'm thankful it's just a cold after what he suffered through last year! He woke up in the middle of the night hoarse and my mind immediately jumped to potential croup and pneumonia (I may be in slightly hyper sensitive mode!) but he isn't as hoarse this morning, thankfully.

Sick or not, he's awfully cute! All of his toys are "very sick", which cracks me up! Ben pretended to snatch his pancake today at breakfast and he started to get upset until I told him daddy didn't really want his pancake because it has germs.

He nodded knowingly and said, "Yeah, daddy's just a regular guy. He doesn't want my germs!"

I love my little bright spot!

Flying High

If you've read my last 2 or 3...or 7 posts, you'll know that it's been rough around here lately for many reasons.

But.

This morning, I've just gotta say that....

I'm flying as high as a Ferris wheel:

Or sailin' like a speedboat...

Or, or.... just plain happy!

It worked! Samuel went into his class today with an actual smile on his face! Hallelujah!! He showed me where his bookbag hook was and greeted his teacher and gave me hugs and kisses and there were NO signs of tears anywhere! (from me or him!)

On my way out of the school after dropping Z off at his classroom, I stopped quickly, almost causing a traffic jam, because I spotted Samuel coming up the stairs leading his class line.

And he was happy!

No tears!

No screaming!

And some of the pieces of my heart that were scattered all over the school floor from this week actually jumped back inside. To stay hopefully.

And I walked back to the car saying, "Thank you, God! Thank you, God! Thank you, God!"

And all the people who have seen me crying the past 2-3 days were amazed.

And it was good.

Three's the Limit?

Three of the hardest days I've had this summer have happened this week. I hardly know what to write, once again feeling chagrined at having yet another non-positive post!

This was the worst morning of school yet. I am hoping, praying, pleading and desperate for there to be a change tomorrow! Zakkai continues to do well and I look forward to him learning new skills in preschool. He really loves it and talks about his teacher and the other kids in his class constantly. So far he only knows the name of his 3 teachers (2 teachers and the aide) and 3 girls:) A ladies' boy? Aiyiyiyi!

My poor Samuel continues to struggle. I feel like I am at the breaking point with all of the stresses of these past few weeks: the continued struggle to find a car, Ben teaching his intensive which leaves him rarely home and very tired when he is and Samuel struggling so much with school. I could really use a few days off!!

This morning Ben and I worked out him coming to drop-off so that he could see what is going on. I took Z in and made it back outside in time to see Samuel starting to cry as Ben guided him in line with his class. No amount of talking helped him. He continued to get more and more upset, refusing to hold his teacher's hand or to walk with his friend, Fiona. Then the VP stepped in, a woman I admit I have not been impressed with this week, and said she would take him. Ben had to force me to walk away as she carried him inside the school screaming and crying, "I don't know her! Please don't make me go! I don't know her!"

My heart broke into a million pieces and I started sobbing on the sidewalk as Ben led me to the car so that he could get to work on time. When I called the school 35 min later, they told me Samuel was doing fine then and was calm.

Thankfully I was able to talk to the preschool teachers when picking up Z (not without crying, of course!) and they offered some suggestions for how to help Samuel in the mornings. S's teacher called me this afternoon during prep time to talk over our new strategy and to reassure me that he isn't staying upset during the day. We are going to try to drop S off at his classroom before the teacher goes to line up the others and he will be her "special helper" to get the room ready and go collect his friends. We will gradually phase out of it as he , hopefully, adjusts.

He seemed okay with the idea this afternoon but told Ben tonight, "I don't like kindergarten." This boy, who is reverting to sucking his fingers more and hides under the covers in the morning and looks at me with heart-breaking eyes full of tears is the reason I get with painful clarity why my m-i-l told me being a mother can be the most wonderful and yet the most painful experience!

I wouldn't trade a minute of it in for anything in the world! But I do wish it were easier....

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It was so nice to have my sister and her husband here for several days. It gave us a chance to let down a bit, forget about the car stuff and have fun playing games (my bro in law is a master game-lover!) and doing fun things. We overwhelmed them with their first trip to Ikea on Monday, unfortunately choosing the bigger Chicago location on a very busy day! There is so much to take in that it is totally over-stimulating but I think they were happy b/c they walked away with a "new" coffee table for their living room at a discounted price from the 'As Is' section!

Plus there was that $1.99 breakfast... And I got to spend some alone time with my sister as we casually popped over to two of our very favorite stores: JoAnn's and Target. I really loved sharing that time with you, K!

For now, I am going to lay my very weary head down to sleep and pray for a new start tomorrow...